new

hello blog life...

Welcome!  this is my personal blog, where I ramble, share things that everyone may or may not want to read.  My personal stuff goes here.  I put it here so that my clients don't have to read about my boring life.  I blogged for years before I started my work blog and i want to keep them seperate, because while my business is a part of my life, my kids are the biggest thing!  :)  so here you will find good mommy blogging, and our day to day lives.  If you want to see how insanely boring I am...read away.  If you want to see beautiful pictures...check out my work blog: Candi Leonard Photography blog

now that you have been warned, scroll down to see what is NEW in my life.  :) 

halloween recap...

I am sick. I knew it was coming and it has hit HARD.  I should be in bed, but my to do list is LONG, so I am working.  I took a break to look at some halloween pics.  Thought I would share them here...

the only shots of the 3 together...Alex didn't want to cooperate!

 

 

the mischevious little engine...

 

our transformer...

 

I didn't take any new ones of Ash, because we already had a shoot for him before...here is one...

 

and our favorite house every year....

now, back to work and then an early bedtime!  HOORAY

so excited...

I have worked it hard this fall.  And I mean all the time.  It is enough to be a mom of 3 kiddos, that is like 3 full time jobs but my part time career turned OVERTIME fulltime this fall.  And I am not complaining, because I loved every minute of my work.  BUT, a girl gets tired after a while.  lol.  I pulled a LOT of late nights, stressed a TON over babysitting, and sacrificed my own sanity at moments.  I have to remind myself all the time that this is WORK, even if I enjoy it, I can't let it take over my life.  I am ALMOST through the tunnel.  This next week ends my WEEKDAY sessions.  Then I am weekend only with ONE exception over thanksgiving.  WHEW!

I have felt the need to have something fun for me for the longest time.  I used to get this urge and lock myself in my scraproom for a few days.  Or go for a girls weekend or something.  But lately, those things just don't work out.  My scrapbook room causes me panic attacks.  So, I have just held off on me time.  Then this week, I got an email.  One of my favorite photographers was holding a workshop.  I see them all the time...workshops that is....yet they cost thousands of dollars.  And while I know they are probably worth it, I can't dish out that dough.  I told myself in the beginning that i wouldn't buy any equipment unless I outgrew mine and that I wouldn't go to any workshop unless I found something else I needed to learn specifically.   Well, the more weddings i do, the more i feel like I need to learn more off camera flash for my receptions.  Those extreme low light situations panic me.  So...back to the workshop.  It came up, reasonable in price, my favorite photog, and I waited.  I knew I shouldn't jump the gun.  Her last one sold out in 48 hours.  But I waited.  I toyed the idea of going to Travis, who did his usual, can we afford this speech?  and we rationed it out for 2 days.  I worried about traveling alone, because I am so not an alone person.  I worried about spending the money, even though I had it to spend and it would be an investment in my business.  I worried about babysitting.  I worried and worried, but still wanted to go.  I had this gut feeling it was sold out.  I held off all day on that third day.  Then I logged in, signed up and NAILED THE LAST SPOT!  MEANT TO BE!   

So, in January, I will be traveling to California..JUST me.  ALONE.  no boys, and spend a few days mingling with photogs, learning from the most fabulous photog ever and enjoying some QUIET kid-free time just me.  I am so stoked and nervous.  

catching up!

I am feeling a little better this week.  Travis had monday off so I had plenty of time to work.  I caught up on my entire to do list, minus one item.  And hopefully today i will knock it out.  We had a busy week to recap.  

Wednesday I met Travis at his school and we travelled to Raliegh to pick up a new camera (not for me! For Travis!).  When I got to his school I saw this glorious sign...the farm next door had a corn maze.  So on Friday, I had my session there and drug the family along for fun!  After my session, we played and played.  It has to be the coolest place ever!  Here are a few pics..

 

 

 

 

 

 

we had a wonderful time!  

Saturday, Travis, Ashton and I headed to the beach for a fun session I had lined up.  We are VERY short on sitters, so Ashton had to tag along.  I was so nervous about it since Travis and I both were shooting, but it worked out perfect.  Ashton was an ANGEL.  Didn't fuss a bit, and even fell asleep on the beach!  haha

Sunday my session was cancelled so we enjoyed a day together.  We went to ihop for pancakes, headed to piscah to hike with the boys, then came home and I worked a TON.  I had a few sessions postponed due to the swine flu.  I am so scared we are going to get the flu.  UGH.  I have had so so so many people around us with it.  I am dreading the fall and winter sickness we get.  :(  Ashton and Alex both ran a SLIGHT fever last night.  I am hoping it isn't a sign of what is to come!!

frustration station...

that is me...right now.  So frustrated!!!!

UGH.

My life is packed to the max right now.  I can't spare a moment alone.  I have session after session and order after order which is AMAZING...but then I have to worry and worry over one thing...BABYSITTING.  Being a working mom isn't easy.  I tell you.  I can't get over how much the shuffle exhaust you.  I had it easy for so long...then it fell apart.  

I am down to one sitter...and one sitter is not good enough.  With three you have to stretch them out or divide them up.  Travis simply gets home too late from his school to help during the week.  I have sessions almost everyday lately since I am making up rain dates and fitting people in.  It is NOT FUN.  It stresses me out beyond belief.  I breathed a sigh of relief when today's session postponed due to flu.  It solved my current babysitting predicament.  Tomorrow is another story.  Then I need DOUBLE on Friday as I have two sessions.  UGH.  The weekends are usually easy since Travis is home.  But Saturday we are heading to the coast for a video session and we both need to be there.  we have no clue who to ask.  My mom has pulled duty so many times lately that I don't want to ask her to give up her 4th saturday in a row to babysit my kids...plus my brother is in and she is trying to spend time with him.  

I wish I had a nanny. I need one badly.    I would gladly pay someone to keep my kids to avoid the guilt trips I feel everytime I need someone.  

They are good kids and not bad to keep...just hard with 3 different ages and levels.  I need help!!  Anyone local have a good sitter they care to share??

happy Tuesday!

I love love love Tuesdays.  a day at home to catch up on housework, editing, and spend good time with my two littles!  :)

I have accomplished so much during the morning naptime.   GOt dinner in the crockpot, edited a session, uploaded orders, designed a birth announcement, and took care of some small errands.  And I did a load of dishes and laundry!  WOOHOO.  

I feel super productive.  I only get naptime spurts to work now.  Ashton has become a true toddler.  SERIOUSLY.  he tears up everything in the blink of an eye.  He dumps out the toys from the bins on the shelf.  Then he climbs inside the bins and rocks until they fall over.  Then he likely bumps his head, and does it all over again.  He also likes to go into the places he isn't allowed...behind the curtains in the living room, inside the kitchen cabinets, etc.  He puts EVERYTHING in his mouth...I pulled out a bouncy ball this morning (threw that away) and has to be watched like a hawk.  NON STOP.  He is walking a bit.  Still just 2 or 3 steps and then he gets so excited he either jumps or leans forward into your arms.  It is cute.  

NOthing like having a toddler to inspire a purging session.  If it is small enough to go in the mouth..trash.  If it gets dumped in the floor again and again and not played with...GOODWILL!  lol.  I have been on a mission.  :)

Ashton is also eating up a storm lately.  (celena can vouch for me!)  There is never enough food.  I have to cut him off at every meal.  HE loves any food.  his favorites are those cereal puffs.  He eats them all day long.  

Alex is growing up so fast.  I looked at him yesterday and I thought to myself how much he has changed in a matter of weeks.  He is talking NON STOP at home.  All day long.  Lots of talking.  haha.  I was so worried about his speech forever and it still isn't perfect, but he is definately going to talk ...a lot.  He also loves to sing and dance.  We do that a lot here.  haha.  Usually thomas theme song.  He belts that one out.  He loves to break it down to the penquins of madagascar intro music.  he is so funny.  He adores Thomas more than ever.  Cars are a second favorite.  He likes to pick out his own clothes and it causes major tantrums on the days that he can't pick pajamas for school.  haha.  We also only have two pairs of thomas socks, which I have to wash EVERY day.  Because they are the sock of choice you know.  

Austin is loving boy scouts. His favorite thing right now.  He and Travis go every week just the two of them.  They do fun boy stuff.  They have their first camping trip in a few weeks. should be fun.  :)

ok....my boys are hungry so we are heading out of the house for a few minutes (aka...no mess making for a few!).  Have a happy Tuesday!!!

flashback...

When I had Austin, the hospitals in new york had TINY rooms.  In fact, they didn't allow the spouse to room in.  and they preffered if they were only there during visiting hours.  Since we delivered in the middle of the night that night, Travis was there.  The next night the nurses came in and asked him to leave after visiting hours had ended.  I remember exactly how I felt in that moment.  Scared and alone.  Not only the fact that I was 22 and had just given birth hours before, but I was in new york city in a hospital full of people i didn't know.  I had this child beside me that i didn't quite know what to do with yet besides hold him in my arms and stare at him.  It was a world of emotions i will never forget.  After I broke down into tears, Travis stepped into the hall and told the nurses that i didn't want him to leave.  He explained to them that we had never spent a night apart. The nurses reluctantly agreed he could sleep in the chair that night.  The next day I insisted the doctor release me a day early than I was supposed to so I could spend time with my family who were there in the comfort of my apartment.  

That night still feels so real to me.  Laying in that bed, feeling like a part of me was being ripped away for a night.  You see, Travis went out of town this weekend fishing with my dad and brother.  I insisted he go.  He almost backed out and I insisted.  he needed some time to do something for him.  I knew that.  I also knew my weekend would be hard without him.  I anticipated bedtime being my biggest struggle since it takes both of us to get all three boys asleep at night.  But that went fine.  The hard part is now.  Me going up to an empty bed.  The silence that fills that room makes my heart feel empty.  I hate hate hate being alone.  I think I may sleep with Austin tonight...lol.  I miss my man.  I miss him so much that everyone reading this is probably rolling their eyes.  lol

Funny thing is I don't like to let him know I need him.  When he goes I play superwoman.  I pride myself in getting along great without him.  But tonight I realize there is nothing wrong with needing someone.  Because after all, I picked a good person to need.  I can't wait for monday night to get here.  Wish me luck with this long weekend alone with my boys.  :)

se la vie...

is that spelled right?

don't know.  anyway.  long time, no type.  life is busy...which really means life is as normal.  :)  I am behind on work and Travis is leaving in the early AM for a weekend fishing trip with my dad and brother.  He will be gone 4 days.  leaving me all alone with the kids...for a weekend.  I am excited for him to go.  ALthough I first panicked about being able to balance the kids and work alone.  I have sessions all weekend, and Saturday I was supposed to head to the lake all day for sessions with several families.  But, the swine flu hit the lake family and it was cancelled.  I still have 4 sessions this weekend, but much more doable than before.  My mom will have to keep them as I work and then we will have our normal routine, sans daddy.  

Of course, since i am going to be alone.  My car chose to not work this week.  When you have ONE car to fit your family, it is never a good thing.  Monday I went out in the rain to the store, two blocks from my house with Alex.  I told Travis I would be back in 5 min as I was only getting ONE thing that I was missing for dinner.  I shop, checkout, go to the car...it won't start.  Reach for cell phone...left it at home.  Go BACK in the store with Alex, use their phone.  Travis doesn't answer.  Mom and Dad don't answer.  Continue to hold a wiggly Alex screaming to get down while calling every number under the sun that i can remember.  Finally get my dad on his cell.  Head back out to the car and see a cop pull into the lot.  I ask him to help.  He takes 5 minutes to figure out how to pop the hood...not a good sign. Meanwhile I am seeing EVERY PERSON I know.  literally.  Finally another cop comes over and together they fix a lose battery cable and BAM...I have a car.  Drive home, Travis still doesn't realize that I had been gone for an HOUR and didn't even attempt to call????  

tuesday and Wednesday car is fine.  This morning, i wake up EARLY...unheard of for me, dress the kids with no screaming.  Have my plan of action to keep Alex happy for school.  Find coats, shoes, etc.  Travis heads out and I walk out behind him to start the car since it is chilly.  NO POWER.  I try to get Travis who is at the end of our road, and I can't find my cell.  (see a pattern?)  Home phone is dead, has been for over 2 weeks.  I look for the phone, find it in the car.  Call Travis, no answer.  Call mom, no answer, call dad, no answer.  Call grandma, no answer.  By this time I am in tears of frustration.  Finaly get my mom who sends my brother to help me.  He and I both can't get the damn car to crank, so I give up.  

Travis is going to the beach, leaving me NO car, with 3 kiddos, and 4 sessions.  I am in panic mode.  :(  Not to mention that this is the 3rd day Austin has missed school in a week.  He really needs to be there.  UGH.  So frustrating.  I think it never ends.  I am ready for a change in my life...a less frustrating future.  That would be so nice.  

overwhelmed..

that is me...overwhelmed.  

I have felt it coming on lately.  I am sick.  sick mommy with sick boys.  Sick mommy with a HUGE week ahead.  Sick mommy who has SO much cleaning to do.  Sick mommy who needs to get better quick.  

UGH.  

It seems our entire family except Austin has the crud.  It happened overnight.  we were all fine, then BAM.  sick.  Nasty sore throat, sneezing, watery eyes, achy sick.  Ashton and ALex both had the runny nose for a while.  I took Alex to the doc last week and they said allergies.  So when Ashton's started to run I assumed the same.  At his 1year check up appt, he turns out to have a double ear infection and bronchitis.  OOPS.  The doc put him on meds and Alex since his nose is still yucky too.  I should have had him check my throat too, but the entire day was a blur.  I sat in the waiting room with a baby for 1 hour and 25 mins, sat in the doc room for another 20 min before he came in and then sat in the pharmacy line for about 30 min.  WAITING GAME.  By the time I got home, I was so tired and feeling so crummy that I didn't feel up to doing anything.  I ordered pizza and layed on the couch.  Breaking our no fast food in OCT rule.  FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH.  

I am making up for it now.  I have the weekend all planned out in meals and ready to go.  I will not fall backwards again.  I just need to get us all healthy again and this will HELP.  On the way to school (late this morning) I opened a can of cheerwine.  I took one sip and Austin chimes in from the backseat...

"mommy, what are you doing?  remember, we are going to be healthy, all of October...NO CHEERWINE!"  

Thanks for the reminder buddy!  I needed it!!!

So today I am home.  CLeaning my house, tackling laundry, filling the trash can, and trying to keep it all in perspective. Next week is going to hit me like a ton of bricks.  Really the entire month.  I have scheduled this month than I ever have in the past.  But today, I am  thinking of only one thing...

getting this little guy better!  

Fast food free Fall...

We took a family walk the other night to McDonalds, the long way.  We love fall family walks.  We usually go there at the end and treat ourselves to icecream or happymeals for the kids or something.  Sometimes we walk to the nearby playground and watch the kids play for a while.  But this night we hit McD's.  We sat outside and the boys split a happymeal, I downed a coke and Travis a sandwhich.  We chatted bout the week ahead.  Then i proposed to them that we make a change.  The entire month of October, I want our family to be fast food free.  COMPLETELY.  NO biscuits on the way to school, no happy meals on fridays, no drive thru windows, pizza deliveries, etc.  We agreed that we could do this as a family. It will just take a lot of effort mostly on my part with cooking and meal planning.  I sat down and made out our monthly meals.  I think I have it ready to go and I think we can do this.  We had to sell the kids (mostly Austin) on this...because they are the majority of the reason why we even fast food to begin with.  I am anxious about this healthy step into the future.  We told them we can take the money we would normally spend on fast food and give it to them to spend.  That was the closing deal.  :)

So here is a peek into a month of dinner meals in our household....

1-cheeseburger, frozen veggies

2-chicken & dumplings, greenbeans

3- Pizza (homemade ones)

4- stirfry

5- chicken pillows, corn on the cob

6- tuscano soup, sandwhiches

7- spaghetti and salad

8-breakfast casserole

9-PARTY (no cooking necessary!)

10- wedding meal 

11-cream cheese chicken, rice

12-sausage and zuchinni tortelloni

13-pot roast

14-enchiladas

15- pancakes and omelettes

16- pigs in the blanket, vegatable medley

17- at the lake (take picnic sandwhiches)

18- Lasagna rolls, french bread

19- cheddar cheese chicken, greenbeans

20-French Dip Roast, mashed potatoes

21- Chicken Pot pie

22- Hot dogs with homemade coleslaw, mac n cheese, 

23- Chili and cornbread

24- BEACH- no cooking

25- BEACH- no cooking

26- Spaghetti, salad, frenchbread

27- Grilled chicken and veggies

28- potato soup

29- cheeseburger casserole, homemade fries

30- Nachos

31- SURPRISE HALLOWEEN MEAL!  

sounds good!  :)  I of course am attempting to give up soft drinks in October too.  :)  That will be harder than anything.  :)  I love my cheerwine.  :)

Yummy Recipe Share...

I have been trying out lots of new recipes lately and this one was an excellent one!!!  :)

CROCK POT CREAM CHEESE CHICKEN

Ingredients:

4-6 chicken breast

8oz cream cheese

1 packet of italian dressing

1 can cream of chicken soup (I bought the one with herbs!)

1 cube of butter

Melt butter with italian dressing packet and pour over chicken in the crockpot.  cook 4-6 hours.  In a seperate bowl, mix cream cheese and soup until smooth.  pout into crock pot and cook for another 30-45 minutes stirring every 15 minutes.  Serve over rice.  

YUMMY.  I tell you we licked the bowl clean this weekend.  I of course added in veggies too for healthy sake!  :)  I have to sneak them into dishes.  TRY THIS...it is good!!!